We all have one. The worst day of our lives. I feel so lucky that Tyler and I share the same day.
I had just moved up to Orem. My first time away from family. I was following my boyfriend, Tyler, who was playing baseball for BYU. And my best friend Kathryn who also wanted to venture away from the small town of St. George.
My Mom and Dad, who were separated at the time, came up one weekend to get me all settled in. I needed a bed, dresser, desk, the necessities to be on my own in this basement apartment I was sharing with Kathryn and 2 other girls. The apartment just so happened to be in the same ward boundaries where Tyler was living with buddies so it was perfect.
Life couldn't be better for a young 19 year old in love.
A few days after my parents left:
My memory is fogged. You always hear of your memory fading during something tragic for your protection. This is definitely true for me. I have little memories of whole periods of the life.
Tyler and I were at my apartment working on homework or something on the computer. He left at about midnight. I went straight to bed at that time. Me and my roommates were suddenly awoken to someone knocking at the door. It seemed like I had just got to sleep so I thought maybe Tyler had forgotten something. But in all actuality it was hours later. I opened the door and Tyler was visibly disturbed. Literally shaking uncontrollably.
I can't imagine what was going through poor Tyler's head. And I wouldn't wish that job on anyone. It seemed like he sat there for 5 minutes gathering his thoughts. Now I'm shaking. Honestly I thought he was going to break up with me. Because that was the worst thing that could happen in my little young mind.
I don't remember exactly what he said but death in the family was somewhere in there. When he said my Dad I fell to my knees. I cried, probably screamed. He didn't even have to say how. I just knew. Such a traumatic thing to have to go through. For the both of us.
Really the rest is such a blur. I just went and did what I was told to do. The hardest part was seeing the people I love in so much pain. I knew I would be fine. I knew I was strong. But seeing how others reacted was hard. Losing a child has to be the ultimate pain. I didn't know that at the time but now my heart can ache just like my Grandma's did. We were all heartbroken.
Tyler I grew close fast. We were already planning on spending forever together but this experience sealed the deal. We were very aware of the feelings something like this brings out and we were smart not to just go off just those feelings alone.
I knew at that time I could never spend the rest of my life with someone that didn't share that experience with me. They would never understand the pain I went through. And also Kathryn will always be my best friend because she has been there through the hardest times of my life.
Tyler and I have a special bond that few others have. He had to step in and take my Dad's role as the protector overnight. He had to pick me up all those years of heartache. We love and miss my Dad everyday but having this trial has shaped us to be one amazing and strong couple. And for that I am grateful.
